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| The most important thing about etiquette is to not let it get in the way of a good time! |
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Yes, there are some basic "rules" to remember. But don't obsess. Focus your attention and energy on making sure your guests enjoy themselves. That's what entertaining is all about, after all.
- You should bring a hostess gift to a buffet, open house or cocktail party, but it is not necessary to bring one to a dinner party. When attending a buffet, bringing a bottle of wine, a dish or dessert, if requested by the host, is appropriate.
- If you wish to bring a gift to a dinner party, bring a book, a seasonal decoration or even a homemade treat ... but be careful not to imply that it should be served that evening. It's best not to bring flowers; the host does not have time to cut and arrange flowers at the last minute (however, flowers make a great next-day thank you).
- You should send a thank you note or phone your thanks to the host within three days of the party.
- As a host, you should greet each guest personally and pour their first drink (a process that is simplified by having pre-poured trays of wines and sparkling water near the entry).
- When setting the table, napkins are always placed on top of the plates, never under the silverware. Guests take their seats and place napkins on their laps immediately. If the napkins are under the silverware the setting will be disrupted.
- Serve food from the left and remove plates from the right.
- Even the most elaborate silverware setting follows simple rules - forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right. The knife blade faces the plate. The item you use first is on the outermost side. So if salad is served first, use the fork on the farthest left first.
- Dessert spoons and forks are placed horizontally above the plate, if dessert is going to be served at the same table; otherwise dessert silverware needn't be on the table.
- If you leave the table during dinner, place your napkin on your seat. If you're finished eating altogether, place your napkin to the left of your plate - never on the plate.
- Do not stack dishes when you remove them from the table. Carry two or three at a time into the kitchen, with their silverware in place, before you scrape off food and stack dirty plates.
- Leave dishwashing until all your guests have gone. Spend your time with your guests.
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